The closest to Normal (Illinois) that I've ever been.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Road trip!

Perhaps you have noticed an absence of blog entries? Well, we're on the road again, and although we have had many bloggable adventures, wireless access has been especially scarce for various reasons.

Our adventure started last Saturday. We had a delightful 12-hour drive from Normal to Baltimore. Highlights included our bathroom break at the Warm Glow Candle Outlet. The least pleasant part of our road trips is always the bathroom breaks. Joseph is always adamant that he does NOT have to go to the bathroom, and there is usually some anger and tears as we inform him that he will indeed be using the facilities. The freakishly large and lumpy candle-castle on the highway has been calling out to me every time I drive past, so I felt compelled to investigate. (Of course, the bathroom at the candle outlet is likely to smell really great, right?)

This place was amazing! It was as if a crowd of midwestern grandmothers on speed vandalized the place. There were thousands of candles of all conceivable scent formulations, but all of them were the size and shape of a roll of paper towels and warty all over like an oatmeal explosion in a microwave. Between the candles were piled every manner of midwestern craft/crap tschochkes (wreathes made of raffia, decorative birdhouses, inspirational wall plaques, teddy bears in clothes, etc etc etc). The vaulted ceiling was painted with clouds like the Sistine Chapel: it was awesome to behold. It was also one of those places that despite the extensive stock, I would be hard-pressed to find a single item that I would want in my own house.

Indeed the one-room family restroom smelled nice, which was fortunate because one of the kids dropped a deuce while the rest of us had to hang out and wait for it in this tiny enclosed room. As a parent, I don't want the kids to feel ashamed about their bodily functions, but secretly I wish that they felt ashamed enough of their normal bodily functions to give me a warning to get the hell out of there before they start.
The gardens were also lovely. Joseph magically lost a shoe right next to the pond. I had Argos with me, so all I could do was yell warnings from afar not to step in a puddle in his socks or let the shoe drop into the water.

The model T club was next door. It looks like Danny is taking a leak on this rare vintage car. (I will let you decide for yourself whether or not this is indeed the case.)

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